I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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