he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
