Say something about gay babies.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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