her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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