What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
