We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
