it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
