She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
