Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize