how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
home. puking in laundry basket.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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