I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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