Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
birth control should be required to get into college
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
My vagina is very pro this idea
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
