i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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