you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
