it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
