I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
