I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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