Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
