So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
