Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
