I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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