apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Randomize
