The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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