pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
