So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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