I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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