I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
