she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
