it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
