You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
