Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize