I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
