that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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