I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You ate ashes out of my bong
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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