i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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