I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
