Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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