my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I seem to have left my pride at pride
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
