i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
