You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
