I hope mine doesn't look like that
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
