You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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