It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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