how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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