note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
