he wants to bone in the snuggie
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
i out mim tonsoeep
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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