he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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