I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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