Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
try to milk me bitch
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
