I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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