Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
