You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
