How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Damn victory sex feels great
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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