Hey man sorry I got all grabby
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
