dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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