Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize