Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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