I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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