Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
