I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
