Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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